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Our close companions for over two decades, who has faced and conquered several obstacles, and I respect her for that. However, she has been constantly blindsided by others. Her partner walked away, and it was an unexpected event. Several of her social circle drifted away then, since they had been only interested in him. It shocked her. She made increased attention in our friendship, and must have realised more clearly the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, quite a few in her circle have drifted apart leaving her certain of the reason. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, even though she was very skilled at her work, her exit happened unaware of the reason for the change.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we have each left the workforce and are seeing each other more, yet I realize my position in the relationship is to listen. I introduce subjects only for her to redirect them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she holds strong opinions. My effort is to propose double-checking information and different perspectives.

She has been organizing a trip to a nation I know well on several occasions and resided in for some time. I attempted to provide advice, however, my input met with resistance. She really just desired my agreement with her plans. I have ended a month there and she wants to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to be a friend that walks away without a word, however, I feel she can comprehend the impact of her actions on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

You could walk away, yet this is not often the easy answer that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to working things out requires bravery and openness from both people.

Therapists recommend trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step involves describing what typically happens during your discussions. It should be based on facts and essentially what a recording device would replay. Step two involves sharing her how it makes you feel. This allows for no dispute about this. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. Step three is to question ways you together going to change the dynamics of your friendship."

Keep in mind she too holds perspectives, thus requiring you to be prepared to acknowledge it. One effective method is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

It's remarkably effective for promoting understanding.

Final Thoughts

Your friend could ignore everything, as some people hold onto a “survival narrative”: they rely on a version of their life they're unable to release as it feels essential relies on it and it represents familiar to them. This poses a challenge because there's no thoroughfare in such cases, mere obstacles. Yet she could initially present this way before reflecting your perspective. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, it will give you satisfaction knowing you were open and direct.